Friendship 1

God sometimes has to tear down something before He can rebuild it the way He wants it to be built. Wildflowers by Robin Jones Gunn

How can something written in a fiction novel move me to tears? I love to read, Christian fiction, in the summer or winter ot fall or spring. It is a great way for me to relax while the girls are playing or hanging out. I get to sit in a chair under my umbrella and relax listening to my girls have fun. I am the type of reader that can just into a book and really feel apart of the story. Seriously, I find myself speaking German-Dutch after reading an Amish themed book. :P

Anyways, back to my original thoughts...

The hardest thing that I've had to deal with is ending friendships. I don't make friends easily. I am not the type of person others are drawn to. I have many acquaintances, but not many friends. I am normally okay with that. But recently I've felt a tug towards cutting loose a few people. This is hard. But in reality I haven't felt 'safe' in these relationships in a long time. I know that God is leading me this way, but it would be nice if he could just send one person I can confide in, trust in, be myself in. Someone who doesn't feel threatened when they don't know all. Someone who won't run and tell the others the things spoken in confidence. Someone who won't ignore you when someone better is around.

You see, I know people who have hurt others by their actions, who up until recently I thought were victims, but it has been revealed that they were really the cause.

I ask God - send me a friend! He responds - no earthly person can fill that role.

Philippians 1:15-18 "It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but other out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in everyway, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice."