Blurry Vision update

 I had my repeat MRI scans a couple weeks ago and just saw my neurologist today.   

First words out of her mouth - I get to give you the best news I am giving today-I believe we can now say you do not have MS!   Your scans are great and there is nothing of concern there.  We will stick with the CIS and just continue to monitor with regular MRI’s that we will start to space out farther and farther apart.  

I am beyond relieved.   To hear her say all that and then to say she doesn’t believe it will develop into MS either is like taking a big breath of air.  

Is my vision clear-no, but it is not getting worse.  

So thankful for the prayers that were said on my behalf.  Love to all.  

Truth be told

Click this link for a song that I feel rings true for me currently  

 https://youtu.be/k0Sqb95vsIM

Life gets messy, but we feel like we have to keep it altogether and not let anyone see our mess.  BUT maybe we’d reach more if we allowed ourselves to be more transparent.  

Finally a diagnosis

 I saw the specialist at the IU Center of Neurology yesterday.  The doctor I was scheduled/saw is the director of the whole program and started this program many many years ago, so I am confident in his diagnosis.   

After a thorough exam and going over all the tests I had previously had, he believes that the optic neuritis is a one and done type episode.   It’s official name is Clinically Isolated Syndrome.   While there is no 100% guarantee that it won’t progress into MS, his experience suggests that I am probably in the clear.   He recommended another set of MRI’s in July of 2023 to ensure no new lesions and to take a vitamin D supplement.   And to contact if any new symptoms arise.

Optic neuritis can’t take 6-12 months to heal, and while my vision may improve, it also may stay somewhat blurry.  The doctor said there isn’t any treatment that is proven to improve the healing process, except the iv steroids that I already had.  He had great things to say about my neurologist which is comforting to know she is the best, but I already felt she was. 

I am relieved to finally have a diagnosis.  It brings peace to my mind that we have some answers and a plan. For those who read this, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.   

Overwhelmed and Exhausted

Everything seems to be crashing down this week.  

Both my girls have situations at school that make getting up and going tough.   One has to deal with a teacher that doesn’t like that she has an opinion and knows how to intellectually argue said opinion.  The other is dealing with things that were spoken against her that are not true.  Lies and dirty name calling that have made her physically sick.   It breaks my heart as mom.  

I have been in contact with the school administrators and we are working out the solution.  BUT right now I question our family’s decision to send my girls to public school.  Why didn’t I get a job and sign my oldest up for dual enrollment through a local junior college?  Deal with my youngest one’s attitude and resentment?   Why did I allow them to enter the lions den?   

I know they will face similar situations in their adult lives, and these conflicts will build them to be stronger women, right?!?    😩   But they are not grown and I want to shelter them from the pain, carry their burdens for them.  That will never change, no matter their ages.  

On top of all this, I have my appointment at the IU center of neurology next week.   I have had some eye pain in my left eye this week and a migraine like pain in my right eye that felt like it would pop out of my head.   I haven’t shared this with anyone bc no one needs one more thing on their list to think about.   But my brain is going through all that could be going wrong-blindness, brain tumor, MS, or many other unknown ailments.  I

If you read this, please just keep my family in your prayers.  Pray for strength, peace and answers.  Pray that we feel His presence in a very tangible way.  Pray that my girls treat each other with compassion as both are dealing with things that the other doesn’t understand.   Sometimes it’s easier to show kindness and compassion to friends than siblings, but that isn’t how it should be   So, just pray for my family during this time   

Summer turns into fall 2022

 Quick update post:

Saw the neurologist and my spinal tap was clear of any signs of MS.  That is awesome news.  BUT I showed some muscle weakness with my right leg.  ugh

So, since we still do not have an answer for why my vision is still blurry or the cause for my optic neuritis, she recommends that I see a specialist at the IU Center for Neurology in Indy.  My neurologist said that they will have access to tests that she doesn't and that even though it doesn't appear to be MS, there is a small percentage that have clear results.   

When I received the call to set up the appointment with the IU Center for Neurology, I was expecting a 4-6 month wait to be seen.  That wait is in fact only 5 weeks.  I asked why so soon?  Depending on the potential diagnosis and symptoms, we get some in quicker than others.  (Some are not being seen until August of 2024).  Soooooo......not sure exactly how I feel about that.  

I will update again after I see the IU doctor. 

My Summer 2022 in a blog ........

 June 2022 

I get up and have pain around my eye.  Pain when my eye moves, pain when it is touched, pain.  I figure that I must have hit it, maybe in my sleep, and caused the pain/soreness.  Only a few days later, I wake up to blurry vision.  So, let's call and see the eye doctor.  

The eye doctor comes in on his day off (bc my symptoms are enough to merit an emergency visit) and runs many tests.  The diagnosis is retrobulbar neuritis with a referral to my family doctor and neurologist for further testing.  The symptoms, diagnosis and with my age makes me a candidate for multiple sclerosis (MS).  

I see my nurse practitioner who agrees with the eye doctor's assessment, schedules an MRI and refers me to a neurologist who gets me in extremely quickly (normal wait in 4-6 weeks, I was scheduled 2 weeks).  

July 2022

After the MRI, I see the neurologist and she let me know that the MRI looks great, but she wants another set bc she really wants to figure out what is causing the vision issues.  She is leaning toward clinical isolated syndrome, which could be the start to MS or just a single event that may never happen again.  

She also sent me in for IV therapy to speed up the healing process for my vision.  I am not sure if it really helped since my vision still fluctuates between how blurry it is depending on the day.  

More MRI's that show only one spot of concern on the optic nerve.  

August 2022

The neurologist now wants to call it relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis, but she can't officially call it that without more tests.  So, let's have a lumbar puncture.  And tells me treatment options to research.

September 2022

Lumbar puncture is just as I thought, uncomfortable and wouldn't recommend it to anyone.  Now I am waiting for my next appointment with the neurologist in October.  

While waiting I am researching treatment options (if MS) and trying as I might to figure out what else it could be.  From my understanding, I do not meet the full criteria for MS, but I am also not a doctor. 

I am trying to write down any and all questions that I may have to ask when I go back.  Honestly, I wasn't prepared for the August appointment to go the way it did.  It was shocking to hear the tentative MS diagnosis, even though I knew that was an option.  So, I am trying to be more prepared.  

My pain is gone, but I am still dealing with blurry vision.  Some days it seems almost normal, other days my vision is just as blurry as the worst days.  

This post is just to document and track what is going on with my health.  

Times Change

It's been awhile. Things have changed. 

Homeschool? Not this year. 

Public School? Yes - and it's been okay. 

I have loved most all my years of homeschooling and wouldn't change it. Our family had many years where we were together - 24/7. There are good and not so good times. Just like every family, we don't get along every second of every day. There were days that it was best that we stayed in our own rooms and other days that we hung out all together. (All that to say, if you homeschool, don't let those moms who say their kids never fight get to you - they are lying! I had a mom tell me that, and it made me feel so much less of a parent bc my two 'angels' had been at each other's throats. I believed that lie for a time, then another mom, a more seasoned mom, told me that whoever said that needs to get out of their bubble bc they had been around that mom and her kids were heathens. lol) 

Now, I loved getting to teach each girl how to read, write, and all the fun things we learn as we grow. I loved getting to mold the curriculum to their personal learning styles - which were different for each girl. Watching that 'ah ha' moment happen during a subject is such a great feeling. Getting to know my girls and develop a friendship along with a mom/daughter relationship is a wonderful thing. However, homeschooling is a calling, and sometimes that calling gets shifted. 

But this year things got shaken up. We offered the option of public school to both girls and they both decided to give it a whirl. We registered and got them off on their first day and they have adjusted well. One loves the school atmosphere and one is tolerating it. lol 

There has been ups and downs in the first 9 weeks of classes, but for the most part, I think they are doing great. Both are taking dual enrollment courses and one is in an A/P class. One is straight "A's" and one is a bit more diversified in grades, but still doing well. We have gone to the football games, homecoming dance and other activities. We are transitioning slowly to a new routine. We are also enjoying those breaks more. 

I am still on the struggle bus on how to spend my days. I miss my girls. I feel kind of loss as to my role in the family. But that is for another post. So, I spend more time praying, and my house seems cleaner. But I am considering picking up a part time job, maybe.....eventually. 

We will see how it plays out over the next few months. Well, I may or may not try to keep this blog more up-to-date, but either way here is a quick refresher on my life.

The Journey

Invasion conference has started at my church. It's an annual gathering that is powerful and I look forward to it every year. Yesterday during the day, I was thinking and talking to God about how I just want to touch his hem, like the lady with the issue of blood. I wanted instant answers, instant healing, instant results. But then I went to service and was listening to the speaker. He was teaching on Jairus (daughter was dying, got Jesus and was taking him to his house to heal his daughter when the woman touched His robe). Then the speaker says - sometimes we want the instant relief, when God wants to see if we will stick with him through the journey.... WOW Am I praying for instant relief, when God wants to see how I will stick with Him through the journey???? And how am I doing with that? Am I frustrated bc it's not happening on my timeline? Am I drawing closer to God through the journey or am I pulling away? Am I looking more at my problems than to the Holy One? Am I distracted bc I lost my focus? God orchestrated the night. He knew what my thoughts and prayers would be and then gave the speaker a word - for me. You see, Jairus' daughter was worse when Jesus "finally" got to the house, but God did a greater miracle - he rose that girl from the dead. He didn't forget that Jairus had a need, a desire, he took Jairus on a journey and bc Jairus didn't quit, didn't get distracted, didn't lose focus, Jesus did greater things than Jairus thought. Don't lose hope if the journey is long, or you feel like you're overlooked....keep your focus on Jesus and stay the course. He has great things coming your way - just hold on! “But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.”” ‭‭Mark‬ ‭5:36‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Friendship 1

God sometimes has to tear down something before He can rebuild it the way He wants it to be built. Wildflowers by Robin Jones Gunn

How can something written in a fiction novel move me to tears? I love to read, Christian fiction, in the summer or winter ot fall or spring. It is a great way for me to relax while the girls are playing or hanging out. I get to sit in a chair under my umbrella and relax listening to my girls have fun. I am the type of reader that can just into a book and really feel apart of the story. Seriously, I find myself speaking German-Dutch after reading an Amish themed book. :P

Anyways, back to my original thoughts...

The hardest thing that I've had to deal with is ending friendships. I don't make friends easily. I am not the type of person others are drawn to. I have many acquaintances, but not many friends. I am normally okay with that. But recently I've felt a tug towards cutting loose a few people. This is hard. But in reality I haven't felt 'safe' in these relationships in a long time. I know that God is leading me this way, but it would be nice if he could just send one person I can confide in, trust in, be myself in. Someone who doesn't feel threatened when they don't know all. Someone who won't run and tell the others the things spoken in confidence. Someone who won't ignore you when someone better is around.

You see, I know people who have hurt others by their actions, who up until recently I thought were victims, but it has been revealed that they were really the cause.

I ask God - send me a friend! He responds - no earthly person can fill that role.

Philippians 1:15-18 "It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but other out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in everyway, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice."

2019 - New Year

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His PURPOSE."

2019 is here and I am asking the Lord what He has for me. This is where I was lead, with the emphasis on purpose.

Purpose....intentional....focus

This year I need to live with purpose, live intentional and FOCUS!

Where is my focus? Am I self-focused or God-focused?

To say I am easily distracted, is an understatement. No matter how hard I may try, there are too many times I lose focus. For example-I may have started working on laundry, then see the dishes, then a project I MUST finish.....before I know it, I have a wrinkled mass of laundry hanging out in the dryer, dishes soaking in now cold water, and more of a mess than masterpiece. (not to mention the countless started posts that never get finished or published on here....)

This year, I need to put away all distraction and learn to set my sights on what God has planned. No more rabbit trails, no more forgotten priorities.

It's hard. Already I have struggled with anxiety over situations I have no control over, over-analyzed things I have said or done, and wished for a redo. It is only day 4. [sigh]

Lord, I know I am called for a purpose. Help me to focus on you so that my purpose is fulfilled. Keep the distractions few, but when they do pop up, help me to withstand my fleshly desire to chase after it. This year I am expecting things to be refreshed in my walk with You....a new fire, new desire, greater intensity to know more of You. Thank you for taking time to listen to me, know me, love me.....I declare 2019 a year where my focus is redirected back to You, back to my first love.....

Time Flying By

It started Sunday with my youngest giving her first sermon in our church's family service. This brought so many thoughts to my head. This was not my shy little girl.

When she was around 3, I remember hearing her passionately praying that she becomes a preacher, but if not, could she at least marry one.

Then there was May 20, 2012, her and her best friend both went to the altar during an outpouring service and asked Jesus into their hearts. This was so special because it was not anyone's idea, but their own. They made the decision that it was their time. (They were both baptized together a few years later.)

Fast forward to May 20, 2018 and there is my baby standing behind a makeshift pulpit (music stand), and giving her first sermon. Not to kid's church, not just to our congregation, but to everyone who also tuned in to see service that day and the days to follow on the website.

Who would have thought, six years to the day of her salvation, she would be getting up in front of thousands to speak what God had placed on her heart.

She spoke on choices and how we need to be sure to base our choices on God's word. It was a great word and spoken from the heart. She spoke with confidence and no one realized that on the inside she was a nervous wreck. Why? It was because she was speaking what God told her, and He had sent His Holy Spirit to give her confidence.

I have spoken in front of the congregation and I know how hard it is. I am beyond proud of this little girl.

Of course, I am proud of both my girls. My oldest is developing a love for photography and I am trying to find ways to help her, although I am not a photographer. Maybe one day she will allow me to share her work on here or maybe you all will be paying to have her pictures hanging in your house.

She has the sweetest heart and I love that the little children are drawn to her no matter where she is. She treats them with a respect, love, and kindness that so many tend to forget to show the little ones. Little hearts matter as much as a big hearts.

What blows my mind is how she is officially a teenager. It amazes how she has grown and how fast the time has flown. Cherish all the moments you have with your babies because those moments don't last forever.

I pray that my girls will always seek to nourish the bond we have, that no matter where they go, their momma will be praying and loving and proud of all they are.

Free

Last Wednesday we sang a praise song with the lines:

"Just a moment there
Set me free"

It was after a couple times thru that a realization came to me. It doesn't say 'for' a moment, it says 'just' a moment.

For a moment means you go back to bondage, back to old ways, back to being captive. It gives a time constraint to the freedom God promises. That you can be free, but only for a time limit, that's it.....no more freedom after that. For a moment means temporary not forever.

Just a moment means it only takes a moment, a second, to be forever set free. The freedom doesn't expire, doesn't go away, doesn't disappear.

There are times we come to God and we need to linger in our prayers......there are times we come and our prayers are answered almost immediately. But no matter if we linger or not, as soon as we come before God - He sets us free from the worry, concern, pain, the chaos of uncertainty.

How many times have I gone to the altar or my prayer closet, felt the freedom of my requests/burdens be lifted, then left and that weight come back? More times than I should..... You see, I didn't give those to Jesus, I didn't release my hold on them. I laid them down, then picked them back up again. Why? Probably bc I have control issues and the thought of not knowing was worse than carrying them. WOW! Do I know better than God? Do I have my best intentions in mind? Ummmm.....no.

That is selfish of me to even think that. It is time to step into the presence of God and be completely free.

Give your life to Jesus, everything you have and witness a freedom you've never felt before.

John 8:36 "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."

Odd-Man Out

A feeling I know way to well. From an early age I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

When your little, you just dream that one day you will find that friend or group and never feel alone. You may find a friend or group for a few years then almost feel pushed out. As you age, you realize that those groups are already formed and no matter how hard you try, you aren’t breaking into it.

Hurt radiates off every part of you, but you mask it. Maybe you make jokes, portray false confidence in your independence, make yourself ‘busy’ or just isolate yourself.

It's not easy on a person to feel left out. Lonely is a feeling that no one wants to have. It can overtake your life if you allow it.

When that feeling tries to overtake me, I find it best to remember that I am not alone, I always have Jesus. It may sound cheesy, but it's true.

He is the only one who can fill the emptiness that is there when you don't fit in. My husband and kids can't, and it's not fair to them for me to try to make them.

I was once told if I put God where he needs to be in my life, then everything else will fall into place. It was then that I knew that I needed to readjust my focus. Am I giving Him my first? my best? Am I looking to Him for guidance? direction? love? Why have I allowed myself to take my eyes off the one who truly sees me for who I am?

No matter where you are, or lonely you are, you are just a pray away from being overwhelmed by God's unending love. Let Him be the friend or group you long for.

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Proverbs 18:24 "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Early Mornings

Quiet moments....

5:30 am, every morning for the last several weeks I have been awakened. Just a soft nudge, a gentle push to open my eyes and begin my day. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I fight it.

I have found that when I listen, I don't necessarily have to even rise from bed. It is quiet and I just listen to the soft chirping of birds, the stirring of our dogs.....the soft calling of the Lord. I will spend time praying......thanking God for a new day, asking for peace, and pleading for the needs of others. As I finish the time in prayer, I sometimes even fall back to sleep and rest for a bit longer. My day is calm, my energy is great, my attitude is pleasant.

When I fight bc my flesh is weak.......I toss and turn, spend the day tired, exhausted and grouchy.

Over the years, when my heart is drawn into prayer in the wee morning hours......it is almost always for others.....there was the 36 weeks I awoke at 4am every morning to pray for my dear friend....I don't remember God ever waking me to pray in the wee hours for myself......it is for others.

I have come to the conclusion that if I am awaken by God......it is a call to pray and He will reveal who and what to pray. Maybe just a name, a situation, but I have learned to listen.

Today I challenge you to listen to the one who made you, the one who loves you more than anyone else.......tune your heart to His. He will not leave you disappointed.

"Let my prayer be set before You as incense. The lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice." Psalm 141:2

Treasured

Wednesday my youngest won a new bike at church. Because she already had a bike, she declined and said to draw again for a new winner. The next name drawn was a little girl who only gets to come because a neighbor brings her and her siblings.

God's love in action. Between my daughter and this neighbor, a family sees that God is not just a name, but an action. It took a lot for a child to give up a new bike. But from what I understand (I was in a different part of the church) she didn't hesitate. She didn't have to think about it. She just did it. (I'm very proud of her too!)

Hmmm....how many times has God asked us to give up something and we hesitate? To do something and we have to think about it first?

Obedience isn't always easy or fun. Obedience sometimes makes you the odd-man out. But afterwards, there is a peace that will overwhelm you.

My daughter gave up something because she knew that is what God wanted her to do. She left feeling happy and at peace because she was obedient. She was obedient without hesitation, obedient without nudging from friends, obedient because she knows the voice of God.

Recently, i was to meet some friends for lunch. I felt like God said to skip this one. I did and it was hard. But as soon as I messaged them and backed out, there was a peace that overtook me. It was freeing. You see, sometimes we put our worth in others. We put more emphasis on what others think than what God thinks. My time with God wasn't where it should have been and because of that my mind set was a bit skewed. I needed that time to spend with God.....to refocus my sight on Him.

(It's not bad to spend time with friends - my group is great - this time God was teaching me a lesson)

This is reminder today to not hesitate when God tells you to do/say something.

"Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation." Exodus 19:5-6

Who am I trying to be

For many years, I have been a Christian. I was raised in church, literally. When the doors were opened, we were there. You would think that I would have this Christian walk down, right? I should know who I am, right? But then, why do I try to be everyone else? I sit and compare my walk with those around me. Why can't I be as strong as she is, why can't I worship as freely as her, why can't I speak as eloquently as she does? I could go on and on (and on and on).

Here recently I have struggled with insecurity. I feel so inadequate - inferior - expendable.

That is when God steps in and asks - When have I ever asked you to be anyone but you?

Yes, God, but I probably won't ruffle as many feathers, if I had a little more gentleness like so-and-so. I am sure that they would prefer someone who prays more eloquently.

Then I am reminded how I am God's handiwork.

Ephesians 2:10 For [I am] God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for [me] to do.

How many opportunities have I missed trying to be like ___(insert name)_______? I have let my insecurities keep me from walking in the fullness Christ intended for me. I can't be anyone but me.

Where Does Your Ministry Start?

As I watch my two girls out the window with a friend, the Lord impresses a question on my mind - Where does my ministry start? Does it start at church, work, at the grocery store?

No, my ministry starts at home - with my family. It doesn't matter how many services I attend, if I fail to live it at home, then its all been in vain.

Dueteronomy 6:5-7 says "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

When we go through everyday living, we must demonstrate the qualities of God. Telling them what Jesus is, is not enough. This is a generation that needs to see Jesus in action.

We've been given a great responsiblity, a great blessing and a means to succeed. God didn't set us loose with kids. He gave us His Word to teach us, to encourage us and help us succeed. He gave us a helpmate - the Holy Spirit to guide us. It is not too late to step into the role God designed you for. Just stop, pray and trust God! He will direct your steps. (Psalm 119:133 "Direct my steps by Your word, And let no iniquity have dominion over me.")

Lord, help me to walk out my witness in front of my girls. Help me be the type of Godly woman that they look up to. I want to be their mentor, not just their mom. I want to influence them more than the world. Make me more like you, Jesus!

Breaking the Masks

Funny

Sarcastic

Tough

Just a few of the many masks I find myself putting on (there are many more). I have found that hiding my true self is easier than just being me. Rejection hurts less if I am wearing the mask. It doesn't mean that I am not sarcastic at times, tough at times or funny (in my opinion, I am hilarious). It just means I shouldn't let that mask take over who I was created to be.

But by putting on a mask, I am really covering up what my Creator has called fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

So today, I am taking a stand, breaking and throwing away all masks!

Today,

I am accepted...

John 1:12 I am God's child.
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Romans 5:1 I have been justified.
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.
But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ's body.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.

Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgive of all my sins.
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I am secure...

Romans 8:1 I am free from condemnation.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died more than that, who was raised to life is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughter"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.
Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,

2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.

I am significant...

John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple.
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,

Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I am challenging you to break those masks that are hanging in your closets and be who God created you to be - YOU!

Control

There is a difference between giving up control and giving control to God.

One leads to chaos -
One leads to order. (Psalm 119:133)

One leads to fear -
One leads to peace. (Isaiah 25.3)

One leads to uncertainty -
One leads to faith. (Hebrews 11:1)

One leads to sorrow -
One leads to joy. (Romans 15:13)

One leads to self -
One leads to God. (Psalm 16:11)

I have been living too long wavering between the two paths. Now is the time for me to completely let go and let God.

Not an easy task.........

Lillie on Heaven

I caught a conversation of Lillie and Gracie on heaven and thought it was so cute, and wanted to share:

Gracie - What's a mansion?
Lillie - It's like our house 1,000 times bigger.
Gracie - wow!

Gracie - Will we be able to walk to all our friends houses.
Lillie - You don't have to walk, you can just, like, snap and you'll be there. Let's say you want to go to Toys R Us, then all you have to do is snap your fingers and BOOM, you'll be there.
Gracie - Alright!

Gracie - If i snap my fingers and say I want a dog in heaven, then we come back down here, will I still have my dog?
Lillie - I don't know.

Gracie - If I snap my fingers and say I want to be in heaven right now, will I be?
Lillie - It doesn't work on earth.

Gracie - If I snap my fingers and asked to be the most beautiful person, will I be?
Lillie - No. (Gracie grunted) In heaven you will already be beautiful.

Gracie started to ask another question
Lillie - You don't understand it right now, but you will one day soon.